There’s an important life lesson in this week’s comic. Try to avoid getting yourself into any situation where a woman experiencing auditory hallucinations will tie you up and pistol whip you. That’s free advice from me to you.

On an unrelated note, I had to visit Costco this weekend. It’s a necessary evil. There’s only so many places you can buy gallon jugs of whiskey, big screen TVs, five pounds of 9 volt batteries and tins of flavored popcorn under the same roof. With the holiday season rapidly upon us, Costco was more full of blithely unaware retirees and families of casually self centered traffic obstructions than normal. I was beset, on multiple occasions, by the strong urge to pistol whip complete strangers. This is why I’ve taken to performing the majority of my Christmas shopping over the internet, where my poor impulse control has far less of a chance to interact with my intense misanthropy, to magically create assault and battery.

Comfort and joy, my ass.